In the future we'll all be gay
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
