I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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