Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
