every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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