i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hippo gnu deer
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
