So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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