i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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