Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
