I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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