Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
