We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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