I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize