I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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