turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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