grandma shit on top of the toilet
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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