No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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