u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
