yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
