I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
