Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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