And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
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As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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