I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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