We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
