I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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