Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it's like iHOP with fire
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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