You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
