i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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