too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
