The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
