it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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