Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
