no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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