So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
