so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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