Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
