Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
