Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
