You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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