take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize