im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
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Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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