Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There's always time for handjobs
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
