if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
