does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
