Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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