I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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