It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
