hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize