Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
