Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
