There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
