It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
