do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
