I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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