We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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