Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
