the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
