I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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