if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
