Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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