You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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