i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
