i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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