would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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