You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
