That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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