so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
