I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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